


( not so ) smart ideas

by smartbuckley



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Badly Written Original Characters, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Post Season 1, Slight Holidays Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:47:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21733213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smartbuckley/pseuds/smartbuckley
Summary: Alex's friends from the army are visiting for the weekend, and expect him to be happily in love with Michael Guerin. Of course, this means Alex has to pull Guerin into a lie for the weekend, but everything will be fine. Really. Completely.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 19
Kudos: 100
Collections: 12 Days Of Malex 2019





	( not so ) smart ideas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [manesalex](https://archiveofourown.org/users/manesalex/gifts).



> So, I'm still getting used to writing for these two men and this is probably... terrible? Let's be real, it's probably terrible, and I'm completely alright with that. It was originally supposed to be longer, with more bad-ass Alex and kick-ass Alex/Isobel friendship, but that... didn't really happen, oops. But it's written for [molly](https://manesalex.tumblr.com) over on tumbr, as part of the malex secret santa exchange, so at the very least, I hope you like it. Also, apparently Isobel is spelled Isabel, but I'm denying that because what even. Enjoy!

He was in a panic. An absolute panic, and he had no idea what to do as his hands shook, trying to grab hold of his phone so he could text Valenti for help. Why was he put into situations like this, Alex truly had no idea but for a brief moment, he wondered if he could just… turn around and never come back. What was there here for him, anyways? Other than Valenti, of course, and -- no, just Valenti, really. Which was a sad state of affairs, and something he didn’t want to think too hard on.

Letting out a breath of frustration, Alex couldn’t help but flop onto the couch in his cabin, holding his phone in his hands as he stared at the blinking cursor, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to type to Kyle in the first place to explain the situation he’s in.

Not a physical situation, because while that would suck, he knows Kyle could handle that. But an  _ emotional _ one, which is… worse, in Alex’s opinion. But this is -- his past coming back to bite him in the ass, to be honest. If he had known when he was in the army, that talking about Guerin so much would get him to where he is now --- 

He would have  _ never _ talked about Guerin so much, plain and simple.

(Okay, he would  _ have _ , because he could never stop himself from telling everyone he was close to about the boy back home, especially after DADT was repealed, but he would have hated every minute of it, if he knew it would lead him to this.)

But now he was  _ here _ , and his army buddies were coming down for the holidays because it was the first time they were all able to come down and visit Alex at the same time, and they had mentioned how they were very excited to meet the man that Alex would never shut up about. 

The man who currently, was making home with someone he thought was his best friend at the moment. A sharp pang ran through Alex’s chest at that thought, and he knew in order to distract himself from going down that rabbit hole once more, Alex finally started typing out the words on his phone.

_ Kyle, I need your help with something. Think you can stop by for the day? It’s… urgent.  _ Alex ends up typing out, tapping a small rhythm on his phone. He doesn’t wait long though as a response comes in rather quickly, causing the man to frown before opening and reading the text.

**I was already coming by, but yeah, sure, whatever helps, man** .

He was already coming? Why was Kyle already coming over? Shrugging the thought off, Alex grabs his cane and slowly stands up from the couch, heading towards his kitchen while trying not to grimace too much at the pain radiating throughout his body from the prosthetic. In his kitchen, he quickly sets the kettle, filling it up with water before turning it on and sighing softly as he leans against the island in his kitchen. He’s screwed, he knows this, but he’s hopeful that Kyle can help him think this through properly, because he really doesn’t want to have to talk to Guerin about what’s probably going to happen. Hell, he would have rathered never mentioned this to the alien, especially if he had known where their relationship - or lack thereof one - was headed.

But his army friends - army buddies - army  _ family _ \- they won’t let this rest, and Alex knows this. Guerin was all he could talk about while in the army, and while Alex was teased mercilessly about it, especially after  _ don’t ask, don’t tell _ was repealed, Alex knew he and everyone else wouldn’t have had it any other way. He doesn’t know how long he’s standing at the island for until he hears a knock coming from his front door and then said door opening. His body relaxes, having tensed briefly before he realizes it’s no doubt Kyle at his door.

“Door’s open!” He shouts, hand clenching around his cane as he watches Kyle come through with his right eyebrow arched before he steps forward. 

“What’s going on?” Kyle questions leaning against the island opposite of Alex, and Alex is taken aback for a brief moment, blinking in surprise as he realizes just how much Kyle has become his best friend. His only friend, if he’s being honest, because Liz is nowhere to be found when he needs someone and Maria -- well, he knows what happened there, and he’s still way too angry to really think about it.

Alex lets out a small huff of breath before he looks towards Kyle and just.. Explains everything. As best as he can, he explains about his army family and friends coming down for the Christmas holidays, since they haven’t seen one another in a couple of years. He explains completely about Guerin, about how he felt about the man when he went to war. About how everyone assumed he and Guerin were more than just a  _ what-if _ and how Alex never dissuade them from that notion.

And how they were now coming by to visit, and expecting to see Guerin and him, happy, because how else was Alex supposed to say anything otherwise?

After a few moments of silence, Alex could only roll his eyes as Kyle burst out into laughter, clutching his sides. He expected this, of course he did, so he lets his friend continue laughing for a few moments before he gives Kyle a look, folding his arms in front of his chest and scowling because --

Damn it, he needed every second he could get in order to deal with this issue, and Kyle definitely wasn’t helping him by laughing for as long as he was, even if it was something Alex expected.

“Are you done?” He can’t help but ask with a soft sigh, shaking his head briefly while smiling at his friend.

“I’m sorry. I know you’re real upset about this,” Kyle jokes, a small smirk forming on his face as Alex just lets out a small groan, tilting his head backwards and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Kyle, how am I supposed to deal with this?” Alex questions, nearly whining. It’s not something he does often -- hell, it’s not something he ever does, if he thinks about it -- but this is Kyle, and he’s comfortable with Kyle, since he can’t be comfortable with Guerin, or Liz or even fucking Maria right now.

“Have you thought about actually  _ talking _ to Guerin?” Kyle aks and Alex -- Alex’s eyes widen as he looks up at his friend with his mouth nearly dropping open. Of course, in some distant form of thought, Alex briefly wondered what would happen if he contacted Guerin and talked to him about this but every time Alex even begins to wonder where the other man is, his chest hurts, because he knows where Guerin is.

He’s with Maria. And that thought has been killing him since the morning he left the Airstream and went to the bar to drink away his woes, only to see Guerin there instead.

So no, he hasn’t thought about talking to Guerin. Especially about this, he thinks. He doesn’t even have to say anything to Kyle for the other man to get it -- he can tell by the way Kyle softens in front of him, how he moves forward and takes a sip from a beer that Alex doesn’t remember him grabbing, watching him.

“You should probably think about talking to him about this, man,” Kyle responds, stepping forward and sitting on one of the stools while Alex frowns, finding himself not too fond of that statement, and he knows Kyle can see it in his face.

“Listen, I know you don’t want to talk to him. He hurt you, and he hurt you a lot, and I’m still not going to forgive him for that, even though it’s not my business--”

“Because it’s not,” Alex grumbles, Kyle continuing onwards, ignoring him.

“But if you’re not going to be honest with your other family, and thus yourself, then at the very least talk to Guerin about this. It won’t be fun. It’ll suck. But maybe it’ll help you find some form of closure, man,” Kyle finishes, taking another sip of his beer while Alex can only frown in response, biting on his lower lip and taking a deep breath, slowly exhaling as he comes to a decision that, while he’s not the biggest fan of, knows will help work things out in the end.

“Alright, fine. But if anything ever goes wrong this weekend, I’m blaming you,” Alex responds with a smirk.

“Well, that’s certainly not in the Christmas spirit,” Kyle snorts with his own grin.

* * *

_ Can we talk?  _ Alex sends a couple of hours later, good leg shaking with nerves as he stares at his phone, wondering if Guerin is going to respond or ignore him. He doesn’t have a lot of time to think about it though because three dots are suddenly appearing, and Guerin is obviously typing out a response, and then he stops, and the dots stop and Alex… Alex wonders if his heart has stopped or if he’s decided to stop breathing properly himself.

The dots start back up though, and Alex has his answer, letting out a breath of relief as his leg continues to shake and he brings his finger up to his mouth and begins biting on the nail, closing his eyes when he realizes he’s forming a bad habit once again but continuing to bite the nail nonetheless. 

**_What’s there to talk about_ ** ? Alex wants to scowl at Guerin’s response, settles for a roll of his eyes before he’s typing out something himself, words flowing through his thumbs without even a single thought.

_ I have army buddies coming over for the weekend. This weekend. A holidays thing. They were there for me when I really needed it _ , Alex begins, biting his lip while he tries to think of the words to continue, not completely sure how he can go about asking Guerin of this.

_ While I was away, I --- shit. I wouldn’t shut up about you, alright? Especially after dadt was repealed. So I haven’t exactly told them that I came here for my happy ending and instead, my happy ending moved on to my best friend, because they would be upset, and I just want the holiday weekend to be good. Please, Guerin, do not make me ruin the holiday weekend with heartbreak _ . Alex types out, ignoring the bitterness of his words and how they seep through his texts, and how his bitterness seems so damn obvious by his words.

He feels like an eternity passes while he waits for Guerin to text back, feels like he sees the three dots appear and disappear numerous times only for nothing to appear before --

**_What are you asking me, Manes_ ** ?

Alex -- Alex blows out a breath at that statement. What  _ is _ he asking Guerin? He stares at his phone for a few minutes, tapping out a response before staring at that and groaning in frustration, if only because he’s not too sure how much he means the words that are waiting to be sent.

He knows he needs to do this. Knows he can’t regret it, because he never regrets anything when it comes to Guerin but right now, he definitely regrets inviting his friends for a weekend together.

_ I’m asking, Guerin, if you could pretend to be my boyfriend for the weekend, like my army friends think you are _ . He sends the words, letting out a breath as he does so before throwing his phone across the couch and closing his eyes, letting his body slump against the cushions while his heart races inside his chest. 

He ignores the tingle that goes up his spine when he hears his phone go off, doesn’t let his fingers grab his phone from the opposite side of the couch and instead, breathes in once more and turns on the television, letting the programming distract him from the thoughts coursing through his brain, and the unread text waiting for him.

**_Okay_ ** .

* * *

The day his army friends - army buddies - army family -- are due to arrive, he feels like he’s going to jump out of his skin. He’s jittery, like he’s had too many cups of coffee, and he’s jumping at everything, which is annoying everyone, but he can’t help himself. He can tell he’s annoying Kyle, but his friend knows he just has to deal with it and Alex --

Alex can’t handle the pressure coursing through him. Right now though, Alex is waiting for Guerin to come over so they can go over some ground rules. Because ground rules is good, Alex can’t help but think, biting the inside of his cheek as he looks around the room with the urge to pace himself into oblivion. 

“You realize you’re going to have to share a bed with Guerin, right?” Kyle questions, interrupting Alex’s thoughts as Alex stops moving and looks at Kyle with wide eyes. He  _ hadn’t _ realized that - not really. He knew, logically, that they would have to do things like share a bed together and oh god, was his team expecting to see him  _ kiss _ Guerin? Alex wasn’t sure he could breathe right now.

Was he breathing right now? Shit, Alex had no idea. Looking up at Kyle, his eyes narrowed when he realized Kyle was laughing at him.

“That’s -- not funny,” Alex can’t help but mutter, fingers tingling as his hand curls into a fist by his side before he can hear Guerin’s truck pulling up.

“Oh god,” Alex mutters, looking towards Kyle. “Help?” He asks, ignoring the way lets out another laugh, huffing when footsteps can be heard on the porch of his cabin before a sharp knock arrive.

“I’m so not ready for this,” Alex mutters to himself, slowly standing up and making his way towards his door and then opening it, leaning against his door and taking a breath, trying not to let out a whimper at the sight of Michael in front of him. He hates how good Michael looks, a small overnight bag slung over his shoulder. Hell, he more than hates it, simply because Alex knows that Michael isn’t truly is. He looks this good and Alex can’t touch, because Michael didn’t choose him. And he  _ hates _ that. Clearing his throat, Alex slowly moves to the side with the help of the door holding him up, trying not to smirk when the other man pauses at the sight of Kyle.

“What’s he doin’ here?” Guerin asks, head nodding towards Kyle and Alex wasn’t to laugh, or let out a snort because Guerin doesn’t get to do that. He doesn’t get to break Alex and then act jealous over the fact that his one best friend is here to help him out. Alex levels a look towards Guerin, rolling his eyes and then making his way towards the counter that Kyle is leaning against, watching wearily as Guerin places his bag down onto his couch.

He’s not ready for this, he can’t help but think, his teeth coming down on his bottom lip as his leg begins to bounce up and down. He’s anxious, and how Kyle is looking at him, his anxiety is very clear, but he doesn’t know what to do, even when Guerin is standing in front of him with an arched eyebrow.

“Alright, Manes, what’s going on?” Guerin asks, looking between Kyle and Alex, and Alex -- Alex finds himself slumping, fingers coming up to run through his hair. It’s grown since the last time he spent any time near Guerin - a few months back, now that he thinks about it, but he tries his hardest to ignore the way the other man follows the movement with his eyes.

“So, my army buddies are --”

“Yeah, no, I got that. I don’t understand  _ why _ you need to go through with this lie.” Guerin says and Alex doesn’t stop himself from scowling, arms coming up to cross in front of his chest as he narrows his eyes at the other man.

“Because, Guerin, when we went our separate ways, they made me promise them something. And knowing that I’ve broken that promise -- I don’t want to disappoint them,” Alex admits with a small shrug of his shoulders, not really ready to tell the other man the true promise they made him make. There’s tension between them, the silence seemingly lasting too long before Guerin nods, taking a breath before turning slightly.

“So uh, what do I need to do?” Guerin asks, and Alex takes a breath and begins to explain everything he can think of explaining.

* * *

They’re at the Wild Pony, waiting for his army family to come around after grabbing a few things from the base. They were supposed to meet at the cabin, but they wanted drinks, and some fun and even though the one bar that could provide that was the bar Alex had been avoiding for a few months, he could never deny them and offered to meet them there.

Alex can see Kyle and Isobel in one corner, watching him and Guerin carefully and he finds himself so damn thankful that they’re there. With Guerin right beside him, Alex feels tense in a way he hasn’t felt in god knows how long, especially with Maria looking at them every few minutes, coming by just as much to see how they’re doing or to try and talk to Alex about everything. He knows he shouldn’t be -- he knows he’s being petty, but after everything, Alex also knows he has the right to be petty.

If there was one thing the past few months and Isobel Evans have taught him, it was that it was perfectly his right to be petty. Looking over to Kyle and Isobel once more, Alex lets out a breath and begins tapping a tune on the table top, trying to distract himself as he continues looking around for his friends.

“So uh - anything I should know about these people?” Guerin asks, interrupting Alex from the tune he was drumming out. Alex shakes his head, a noise escaping from the back of his throat when Guerin turns to look at him.

“Surely there’s  _ something _ you can tell me, Manes. Anything?” Guerin asks, his entire body turning towards Alex while Alex throws his head back and just looks at Michael with wide eyes.

“You can’t --- they expect us to be in love and happy because when they knew me, they knew me as the man who was in love and happy with you. Which means if they realize that you’re with Maria before this weekend is over --” Alex pauses here, shaking his head and taking in a deep breath.

“I just need you to pretend you never looked away, alright?” Alex whispers, looking towards Kyle an Iz with wide eyes. Alex sees Michael open and close his mouth a few times, like he’s searching for the words to say, but before anything can happen, Kyle and Iz are sliding into the opposite booth and Alex arches his eyebrow in surprise.

“We decided to come meet your friends,” Iz states with a grin and Alex finds himself relaxing. If you had told him a few months ago that he would consider Isobel fucking Evans as one of his best friends, he would have laughed in your face. Except, after everything happened with Max, Noah, and Maria and Michael -- they found relief in being friends with one another. Isobel knew just how much Alex was hurting, since he let her look into his mind and Alex -- Alex knew what it was like to be abused, and had helped her in any way he could.

“Well, it would be good for my best friends to meet my army family,” Alex grins back, his grin softening when Iz lets out a giggle. He ignores the way Guerin looks between the two of them with furrowed brows, smirking when Kyle scoffs at the man.

“You probably should have been paying more attention to the environment around you, man,” Kyle responds with a shake of his head. Before Guerin can even respond though, the door opens and all Alex hears are the people who saved his life, who he owes  _ everything _ to, and he can’t stop the grin that escapes from him as he slowly stands up, using his crutch and even Michael, for help.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Captain Manes,” all four of his friends shout, arms coming up to wrap around him, a group hug formed immediately while Alex lets out a laugh. He lets himself relax completely in the arms of his friends, almost letting out a sob as he does so, before gently pulling away from them, but not going so far. He turns, as best as he can, and grins towards everyone in the booth.

“Guys, this is Ashley, Mike, Devon and Linda,” Alex states, pointing towards the four people surrounding him, each one waving in return. Alex watches carefully as he’s let go and he makes his way towards the booth once more, squishing Guerin towards the wall as the others join it, Devon and Ashley grabbing a table and chairs so they’re not all squished in one tiny booth.

Alex isn’t surprised when Maria comes by and takes the orders of the newcomers, her eyes on them carefully before she looks at Alex, who looks away and clears his throat. 

“Right, the blonde beauty is Isobel. Next to her is Kyle, and then the one next to me is --”

“The infamous Michael Guerin,” Mike interrupts with a smirk, his arm swinging so it hangs over Ashley’s shoulders, and Alex finds himself grinning when he spotted how she moves into him, relaxing entirely while Guerin makes a noise in the back of his throat.

“How’d you know?” Isobel asks with her own smirk, the glass in her hand coming up as she takes a sip from it and Alex groans, rubbing his forehead briefly. The two of them might be close friends now but Alex isn’t an idiot - he knows Iz is going to tease him as much as she can when it comes to her brother and their feelings.

“Oh, Michael Guerin was  _ all _ Alex could talk about after Don’t Ask was repealed. Alex wouldn’t shut up about the man back home that he couldn’t wait to get back to,” Devon snorts while Ashley giggles and Linda knocks back her beer, thanking Maria who had just arrived before the explanation came.

Alex turns bright red and lets out a groan, placing his head in his hands, ignoring the way Michael has turned to look at him. He hates how he feels right now, and letting out a small breath, looks up towards Mike.

“So, I see you finally grew a pair and asked Ash out,” he teases while Mike grins and Ashley giggles, taking a sip from her own drink while she nods.

“Oh, most definitely. But we have time to talk about us later. We want to know everything about the man to your right, man,” Mike responds and Alex hates him in that moment, but it doesn’t stop him from chuckling and drinking his own beer in the hopes he can avoid answering anything.

“Well, what is it you want to know?” Michael ends up asking after a few moments, a salacious smirk on his face while Alex tries not to fall in love with the man a little bit more, knowing that when the weekend is said and done, he’ll be alone and Michael will be with Maria.

Where he belongs.

* * *

They’ve been in the cabin for almost two hours now, the time nearing three in the morning and Alex is exhausted. He knows he needs to sleep - they have a big day tomorrow, with Alex planning on showing Mike, Ash, Devon and Linda around the town but this moment, they’re all asleep in his guest room or his living room pull out. He had tried offering them the option of his own room, but none of them would take it, joking they didn’t want the bed where they knew Alex and Michael had slept, but mainly because they knew sleeping on a pullout couch was never easy for Alex or his leg.

So here he was, in his room, Michael right next to him and Alex couldn’t sleep for that reason, despite how exhausted he was. He was tense, because all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around Michael and just close his eyes and be at peace, but he knew that wasn’t something he could do.

And he didn’t know what to do about that, admittedly. 

“Why aren’t you asleep?” He hears, and he lets out a small sigh of frustration before he bites his lip and turns towards Guerin. He looks good in his bed, and the urges are there, but Alex can’t -- he  _ can’t _ let himself have this.

Instead, he chooses to shrug, and remember how well the night went. All of his friends got along well with one another, Mike and Ashley giving Kyle and Iz hell. Devon and Linda remained a little quiet and out of it, but Alex didn’t understand why but knew he would ask the next day. They all teased Michael and him well enough, though, And Alex had thought that maybe that meant that Michael would become annoyed, or anger, or something  _ else _ but he never did and Alex just -- didn’t understand.

Sure, there were a few moments of awkwardness, especially when the group would tease Michael and him about their relationship - which would just cause Kyle and Iz to do their own teasing about their non-existent relationship in a way that no one but Alex and Michael realized, but overall, everything had gone well for the group.

Even if Alex found himself continuously wanting to hold Guerin’s hand, or lean into him, or kiss him, or, like now, hold him as he fell asleep.

“Alex,” he hears Guerin whisper and he lets out another sigh, bringing his hand up to rub his face as his entire body aches with exhaustion. What is he supposed to tell Guerin in this moment, he can’t help but wonder. It’s not like this moment will last, he knows this. But what could it hurt?

“Just -- I have a lot of thoughts running through my mind, I guess,” Alex ends up whispering, looking at where he knows Michael is resting. For once, he’s thankful the night is dark enough out here that he can’t really see Guerin right now. And that Guerin can’t see him, either.

“Alex?” Michael whispers and Alex can’t help but hum in response, wondering what it is Michael has to say in this moment.

“Why haven’t --” Alex frowns here when Michael pauses, not sure what Michael was going to say but having a feeling and not sure how to respond to the ache his thoughts causes. 

“Why what?” Alex asks and he hears Michael let out a sigh, feels him shift around a little and finds himself frowning.

“I know the answer to my question. I don’t know why I want to hear it come from you, though. Maybe to cause me more hurt? I don’t know,” Michael whispers and Alex -- Alex lets out another sigh, shifting in the bed himself.

He knows what Michael isn’t asking him - what he wants to ask him, and wants to know the answer to, but is too afraid to ask. He knows this. He knows --

“I might be angry. I might be hurt. But you’re always going to be my family, Guerin. Always. Even after you’ve looked away, and moved on, and become happy with the one person I trusted most outside of you -- you’re always going to be my family,” Alex whispers, moving away and out of the bed, towards the kitchen as quick as he can in the night, surrounded by people who thinks he’s happy.

* * *

The next morning, Alex stands in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, barely awake. He ended up sleeping on one of the loveseats in his living room, a blanket around his shoulders, simply because he wasn’t sure he could handle going back into his bedroom with Michael there, not after what he said. He can hear Linda in the bathroom, which isn’t a surprise, since she was always the earliest riser out of their group, but everyone else is still sleeping, and Alex finds himself thankful for that because he can also hear Michael in his bedroom.

Wanting to avoid Michael forever isn’t possible, no matter how much he wishes it was, because in the next moment, Michael is slowly making his way out of the bedroom and standing next to Alex, grabbing the coffee he had left out, because  _ of course _ he had. With Michael standing right next to him, Alex doesn’t know how long he can stand still - not with the way the electricity between them courses up his nerve-endings, alighting him from the inside out.

“What you said last night--” Michael begins after a few minutes of silence, breaking the way everything seemed nice like a hammer falling on a glass window and falling to the ground, inflicting unforeseen damage for numerous people.

“Can we  _ not _ ?” Alex questions into his mug, letting out a scowl when Michael shakes his head and turns to him completely.

“Hell, normally I’d be all for ignoring shit like this, and confusing the two of us because our communication sucks, but this is something that  _ can’t _ be kept hidden, Alex, so I need you to listen, alright?” Michael asks, and Alex nods, blinking in quiet surprise as he notices a light snow falling from the set of patio doors behind Michael. It’s still dark out that the light white of the snow contrasts nicely with the darkness of the sky and Alex -- Alex continues to drink his coffee, not sure what to do with the way his heart beats mercilessly inside his chest.

“I didn’t look away. I know it seems like that, because I ran to Maria, but I -- I didn’t look away, Alex. And I’m sorry that I went to her in the first place. I wasn’t thinking. I --”

“You  _ were _ thinking though, Michael. If you can’t be honest with me, at least be honest with yourself,” Alex whispers, stopping Michael immediately, his mouth opening and closing for a few minutes before he nods his head and closes his mouth with a snap.

“You’re right. I was thinking, and I didn’t realize how much it ended up hurting you, how much I ruined your friendship with Maria because of it.” Michael whispers and Alex finds himself shifting, biting his lower lip, trying to figure out how he could possibly respond.

“But Maria and I - we weren’t working, Alex. And we talked it out, figured it out and broke up a few days ago. Before you called me,” Michael whispers and Alex -- Alex’s heart is pounding even faster inside his chest as he takes a large sip of his coffee in order to try and stop himself from doing anything stupid.

“Last night, sitting next to you with your friends from the army, all I could think about was what they kept saying throughout the night,” Michael continues, and Alex makes a noise, letting Michael know he’s listening, even if he doesn’t know where this conversation is going.

“They kept talking about how you could never shut up about me,” Michael chuckles and Alex looks towards him in confusion, wondering why the chuckle sounded so self-deprecating. 

“I was so busy thinking that you had left and hadn’t come back, that I wasn’t enough for you, that I hadn’t realized just how much you cared for me. I was so resentful that I didn’t realize that you were so filled with love. And --” Michael lets out a small huff at this and Alex doesn’t know how to feel anymore, even as he continues drinking his coffee.

“And last night, with Mike and Ash constantly talking about how much they knew you loved me by how often you talked about me, I realized I never really gave you the opportunity to show me.” Michael finishes, taking a sip of his own coffee and then clearing his throat and looking at Alex with hooded eyes.

“What are you saying?” Alex asks, watching Michael carefully as he opens his mouth to say something, only for both to jump backwards in surprise when a loud thump is heard from the living room, where Mike has fallen from the couch and awoken with a loud groan.

“What timesit?” Mike asks and Alex lets out a soft sigh, smiling when he remembers the times they woke up like this before.

“Quarter after six,” Alex ends up saying softly and Mike nods, rubbing his eyes before making his way to the kitchen and yawning, grabbing a mug for himself and pouring his own coffee into it.

“Are you guys talking about your relationship?” Mike asks and Alex freezes, eyes widening as he almost drops his mug in surprise.

“Wha--what?” He asks, clearing his throat while Mike chuckles.

“Man, Alex, have you forgotten how obvious you are when trying to hide shit? Unless it’s life or death, you cannot keep a secret, man,” Mike chuckles, nudging Alex with his shoulder while Alex blinks in surprise and opens and closes his mouth, not sure how to respond to what was just said.

“Oh,” he whispers, taking another sip from his mug before looking towards Michael briefly.

“Alex,” Mike says and Alex looks back at Mike with wide eyes, “Man, I don’t care that you broke your promise. So what, if you didn’t make your happiness happen immediately. You tried, right?” Mike asks and Alex nods, because he  _ had _ . Sure, it took him a little while, and  _ sure _ , there was a lot of arguing while it happened but -- he had tried, definitely.

“Well then, that’s what counts, man. That, and the fact that you clearly need to work your shit out with Guerin. Because while you two are clearly idiots and in love -- you both clearly have a lot to work out, man,” Mike chuckles and Alex hums, tilting his head while Michael lets out a full blown laugh, causing Ashley to jolt awake.

Alex laughs once more before turning towards Mike. “Think you guys can head out for breakfast? We’ll meet you there,” Alex says and Mike nods, nudging him before turning towards Michael and arching his own eyebrow.

“He was my best friend, way back when, man. And he was very clearly in love with you. And I don’t know what the hell happened between you two since the last time I saw him, but don’t fuck this up again, man. Because I can see he’s been hurting. And I’m never okay with that.” Mike says, his voice quiet while Michael nods and takes a gulp and Mike -- Mike nods back before making his way towards Ashley and the two of them head towards the back of the cabin, letting Alex and Michael have their privacy.

Turning towards one another, Alex looks at Michael carefully and, biting his lower lip, steps towards him so there’s barely any space between them. He can see the way Michael gulps, looks him up and down and something -- something rushes through Alex at the sight of it.

“So you and Maria broke up?” Alex asks, tilting his head in thought while Michael nods. Alex hums softly, looking around the room before taking another step closer, smiling softly.

“And you never look away?” Alex asks, trying not to feel something when Michael shakes his head.

“Never again, man. I will make it up to you every way I can,” Michael whispers, and Alex lets out a small whimper, knowing that he’ll regret that later. He ignores the chuckle that comes from Michael and lets out a small huff, fingers running through his hair as he places his mug down onto the counter.

“What you did hurt, you know that, right?” Alex whispers, and Michael nods, his hand coming up to caress Alex’s cheek, Alex’s eyes fluttering closed as he leans forward to rest against Michael.With Michael’s fingers slowly running through Alex’s hair, Alex lets out a soft breath, looking up at Michael through his eyelashes.

“I love you,” he whispers and lets out a soft smile when Michael freezes and then continues, a smile on his own face.

“Love you too,” Michael whispers and Alex nods, taking a step back. “We should get ready for breakfast.” Alex says, stepping away while Michael nods once more. Alex doesn’t know what’s going to happen next between them, doesn’t know what their future has in store but --

Right now, Alex feels like everything is perfect, even for the time being, and that’s the one gift Alex would ask for that he thought he would never receive.

“Yeah, we should. That way we can end the day faster and actually  _ sleep _ in the same bed tonight,” Michael chuckles while Alex smirks.

“Huh uh,  _ sleep _ ,” he teases, ignoring the way his heart rises and soars, and the butterflies in his stomach keep on going.

“Definitely sleep. Hell, can we sleep now and meet everyone for lunch instead?” Michael asks and Alex can’t help but chuckle, shaking his head before moving forward and kissing the other man with a grin on his face.

“No. But we should definitely shower together. After all, save water, ride a cowboy, and all that,” Alex responds with another chuckle while Michael smirks.

“That definitely sounds perfect,” Michael responds, the two of them heading towards the ensuite, unable to stop touching one another, with Alex thinking that yeah, everything seemed perfect right now, and Alex had no complaints.

**Author's Note:**

> I guess you can come find me on tumblr @ smartbuckley.


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